Donna, age 41
I knew I was too drunk to drive home and face my family. I steered
my car into the old graveyard and parked. I found a full bottle of
wine among all the “empties” on the front seat, grabbed
it, slammed the car door and slid to the ground. I was slumped by
the car, slugging wine and staring at the graves of my
grandparents, remembering the good times and wondering what
happened to my life.
Not many people know the exact moment they hit bottom, but I do. It
was that night – March 24, 2006 – at the graveyard just
down the road from my parent’s house in Gulfport,
Mississippi. My husband and daughter and I were up from
Jacksonville, visiting family, and I had been shopping and drinking
all day. When I finally dragged myself up to drive home from the
graveyard, I discovered that the car door was locked. My husband
came and took in the whole scene. He’s a quiet man. He just
said, “Look at you.” I knew at that moment in the
graveyard that I was hearing the death knell of everything I hold
dear.
After a completely silent 8-hour ride home to Jacksonville the next
day, I closed myself in the bedroom, picked up the yellow pages and
called Wekiva Springs Center for Women. It was Sunday night. The
lady at Wekiva suggested I come in the morning for an evaluation,
but I told her “If I don’t come tonight, I won’t
come tomorrow.” She said, “Come now. We’ll be
waiting for you.” They unlocked the door late that night and
I walked down a dimly lighted hallway and into a new life.
I never knew anyone in rehab and never thought I’d end up
there. My thing was pain pills and wine. You see, I’m a horse
woman and I have one leg that is shorter than the other due to a
riding accident when I was a teenager, so I’ve been taking
pain pills forever. The wine … well, it started out as just a
social thing. I owned an upscale boutique and wine was part of the
ambience, you know. I ran around with some of the most prominent
women in Jacksonville, but it was superficial. When you meet the
girls out for lunch, you certainly don’t chat about
rehab.
Rehab was nothing like I expected. I was so incredibly fortunate
that I chose Wekiva. It’s not just about the drugs and
cleaning out your body – it’s about strengthening you
as a woman. You think of derelicts and uneducated people, but I was
there with MIT graduates and incredible women from all over the
United States. Now, I shout about rehab and my recovery to the
world. I don’t care who knows because I’ve got my life
and my family back.
Family Week at Wekiva was the most powerful thing. To see my big,
strong husband crying like a baby and feel the hot tears of my
beautiful teenaged daughter on my cheek…you realize for the
first time how much pain you’ve inflicted on the people you
love. It was raw in that room. Today, if I think about a glass of
wine, it makes me sick to my stomach.
I owe my life to Wekiva. It’s a great place to heal and it
will be part of my life forever. I’m now a better mother, a
better wife and a more spiritual woman. Church is still not a thing
for me, but I have a lot of conversations with God. Recently, a
dear friend presented me with a beautiful paint horse. I call her
“Ki,” which is short for Wekiva. There was never a
moment’s doubt about that name. She represents all new
beginnings to me.
Erica,
40
I grew up knowing one thing for certain. I’d never get fat.
No one is overweight in my family and I remember my dad’s
comments when he spotted a fat person. “Gosh,”
he’d say. “Look at that!” I’m 5’ tall
and have spent my life fighting my weight, secretly alternating
between binge-eating and fasting. When I was on a binge, I would
hide stashes of candy bars, cookies and snack cakes all over the
house. When I was fasting, I’d hide that too, but my 11-year
old son was starting to suspect something He’d say,
“Mom, aren’t you going to eat?” and I’d
say, “Oh, I ate earlier,” or “I ate while I was
cooking.” I’d go for days on end with no food at all.
By the time I saw a television commercial about Wekiva, I was truly
at the end of my rope. I was in a state of deep depression. My body
chemistry was all out of whack and I was weak and sick from years
of abusing myself.
I spent 28 days in Wekiva and it was the best thing I could have
done for myself. The staff was fantastic. I connected with my main
therapist right away. She really knew how to listen. I realized
then that I’d never opened up to anyone or even to myself. My
family really didn’t want to hear me. My husband was always
supportive, but I had this secret life he didn’t know about.
My parents were very much against taking anti-depressants. They
would often say, “People should just lean more on God and
pray more.” God is a very big part of my life, but there
comes a time when those medications can really pull you out of a
dark hole, and that’s where I was.
The best part of Wekiva – especially for an eating disorder
person – was the three nutritious meals a day. We had menus
we wrote down to get prepared to go out in the real world –
and they equipped us with a really great set of tools to handle our
eating realistically. Yoga was another thing. I’ve never made
time for exercising. Yoga helped me meditate and come back to
myself. I still love it. And the art therapy was awesome! I’m
not an artist at all, in fact, I’d call myself
“art-challenged,” but you wouldn’t believe the
difference in the art I created when I first got there and what I
was doing by the fourth week – it was like night and day.
Family week was really important for me. We were in a safe
environment with a mediator and I was able to share the real truth
with my parents, husband and kids for the first time. The mediator
helped explain how we could help each other as a family unit. We
talked about things we could all do to make things better.
I still have good days and bad days, but my biggest thing is I
immediately talk to someone. Wekiva taught me to reach out and I
don’t hesitate to do that now. When I let food distract me, I
think of the acronym I learned there – Hungry, Angry, Lonely,
Tired – HALT!
Aisha,
32
I had everybody fooled. In August of 2005, when I attempted to
commit suicide after the birth of my fourth child, everyone –
even the medical professionals – thought it was post-partum
depression. “I wasn’t honest about my drinking or my
use of anti-depressants."
I had my first two children by the time I was 21 and I think my
alcoholism started when I was about 22, but I didn’t really
think I had a problem. Most of my drinking was at night, after I
took care of the house and kids all day. My husband and I were
social drinkers and until my suicide attempt, I never tried to hide
my drinking. Even an attempted suicide didn’t stop me.
My family life got really bad after the suicide attempt. I was
paranoid, hot-headed, and blacking out when I drank. My husband and
kids didn’t know what to expect next. When I went to a family
funeral in Illinois, I left him with the kids. Because I was
without the responsibility of children, I stayed drunk the whole
week I was there. My family didn’t know whether I was coming
home or not, and my 12-year old son decided he couldn’t take
it any more. He called my parents and asked them to come pick him
up. By the time I got home from Illinois, I had lost my son and my
husband wanted a divorce. I realized I was losing everything
because of my alcoholism. That’s when I called Wekiva.
Today, my life is golden. I’ve always been told I was
beautiful, but I never felt like I was – it seemed I really
didn’t fit in. I’m learning to be beautiful on the
inside now, and I’m so grateful for the relationship-building
tools that Wekiva has given me. I’ve learned to set healthy
boundaries with people and not to allow what they say or do to
affect me. My husband still drinks occasionally, but he
doesn’t incorporate it in his every day life. He’s not
an alcoholic. I am. And, I’m a grateful alcoholic because,
through Wekiva, I’ve become a member of a very large support
group called AA.
God knows where I would have ended up if I hadn’t called
Wekiva. I probably would have been on the streets with all my
children, or dead. Wekiva helped me learn to love myself. They
loved me until I could love me.
Christine,
?
I’m a former heroine addict. What I didn’t realize is
that when I began drinking alcohol after I got off of heroine, I
was just switching addictions. It doesn’t work.
I’m not what you’d picture as a typical heroine addict
or alcoholic, whatever that is. I’ve got dual degrees in
special education, a 17 year old daughter, a 4 year old son and a
prosperous, loving husband. I live in a very upscale neighborhood.
In fact, I had everything a woman could want, but all I could think
about was my next drink. When you’re drowning in alcohol,
material things don’t matter a bit.
I was at Wekiva for 31 days and they treated the whole me –
not just my addiction. The place was beautiful, the staff was
wonderful and I had an individualized plan that gave me specific
personal goals to meet every day. I had neglected a lot of things
while I was looking for that next drink – but at Wekiva,
whatever it is you’ve neglected, they’ll take care of
it.